


Escape

by biolumo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, I meant this to be a one shot but here we are, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 01:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5564527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biolumo/pseuds/biolumo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a short battle resulting in the destruction of a First Order Star Destroyer, Kylo Ren finds himself aboard an escape pod, apparently the captive of Rey. They each have a year of Force training under their belts now, but will that make any difference when it comes to matters of loyalty and of the heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aw hell I meant this to be a one-shot featuring a healthy dose of smut but here we are. I have a lot of Reylo feelings.

                How they came to be aboard the escape pod hurtling away from the exploding Star Destroyer was somewhat of a blur to Kylo Ren. He vividly recalled the brief but intense lightsaber battle which resulted in mutual disarmament, the collapse of the ship around them, and the mad dash for the pods, but as far as he could understand, his momentum had been insufficient to actually land him in the pod. Unless he had been… _helped_. Unless something, some _force_ , pushed him. Unless _her_ surprisingly small but powerful hand had caught his wrist at the last second and-

                _Gratitude is for the weak_ , a voice growled in his mind. But a different voice questioned her motives. Why the sudden benevolence when they had been at each other’s throats not a moment before, and after his actions at their last meeting?

                He glared through the slit in his helmet across the open area of the cramped ship. The slight girl at the control panel jerked the yoke back and forth to avoid bits of disintegrating Destroyer, her brow furrowed in concentration. The ship violently shifted this way and that, but Kylo hardly felt it. It was not simply that he was able to steady his balance using the Force (a simple trick- one of the first he had taught himself, actually), but the fact that her presence, her power, was overwhelming, that _girl_ , that _scavenger_ -

                It had been a year since he had seen Rey, but her appearance had scarcely changed. In fact, she was still wearing the long tunic that cris-crossed her body, the same one she wore the first time they had encountered each other. Instead, it was her energy that seemed different. Fluctuating and unfocused before, her power now radiated from her in a well formed and nearly visible halo. Kylo was shocked to find that after all this time, and after all his training under Snoke, some small part of him still felt drawn to her light, like a moth to a flame. It made him angry.

                He clenched his fists tightly, purposely digging the hard points of his gloved fingers into the softer palms of his hands. He conjured up the pain of the wounds Rey had inflicted upon him, and felt his scar throb under his mask. _Yes, use this pain_ , Snoke’s words echoed in his mind. _Pain is hatred and hatred is power_.

                Kylo allowed the feeling to course through his veins, reveling in the energy it granted him. He added to it the hatred he had cultivated during his training for Rey, for the Resistance, for the Light. He honed and shaped it inside of himself, fashioning a point with which to pierce her halo and gain control of her mind-

                “Will you _stop_ that?!” Rey snapped, briefly shooting Kylo an intense glare over her shoulder. “It’s hard enough not getting us both killed in this piece of junk without your noisy attempts to enter my mind!”

                “ _Noisy_?!” Kylo all but squawked. Though his mask did much to muffle the incredulity in his voice, this was not how he had imagined their second meeting would go. His momentum was lost, he had to focus…

                “Yes, noisy! It was noisy then and it was noisy now,” Rey replied tersely, not taking her eyes off the debris field outside the pod. “And I can still hear your power buzzing, so if you would _please_ -“ She stopped mid-request to flip a switch and turn the controls hard left, sending the pod into a sudden spiraling descent. Despite the quick maneuver, an impact shook the pod, actually managing to unbalance Kylo.

                “Damn, that was engine one…” Rey muttered, flipping a number of other switches.

                Kylo, thinking quickly, took advantage of her distraction to send a thin tendril of dark energy to probe her mind. This time, she was not so quick to react to his efforts, so he dived deeper, only to be forced out by a sudden push of light. She was aware of his presence, but too preoccupied to even bother to face him properly, cursing under her breath at the now less responsive controls. Kylo seethed at being taken so lightly. _The ship is only a few paces wide_ , he observed, _I could easily take her down with my bare hands. Clean and simple_.

                Rey was right though- avoiding the debris of the Destroyer, which was still in the process of exploding, would be difficult for Kylo alone ( _If not impossible_ , a voice in the back of his mind chided) with his minimal flight training. He resolved to wait until they were free of the outside threat, and then he would strike; but for now, he needed her alive. He elected instead to analyze the bit of information he had gained from his brief foray into her thoughts. It did not surprise him to find that Rey’s destination was the Resistance base. What caught him more off guard was the thin mist of doubt that surrounded the destination in her mind- it was downright befuddling.

“We’re nearly out of this debris field,” Rey said with a shallow sigh before he could ponder it any further. “But we’ve been hit hard. Give me your helmet, I need something to wedge between the yokes.”

She had asked so matter-of-factly that Kylo found his hands rising from his sides to release his helmet without further question. Becoming aware of his actions, he balled his hands into fists and thrust them back down. He crossed the pod to stand behind her chair in a few short steps, and had every intention of killing her there and then, until… he didn’t. He weakly pressed the releases, and grudgingly pulled the helmet off.

Kylo slammed it down in front of Rey with a solid _thunk_ and an accompanying grunt. “Thank you,” Rey said with little sincerity. She made quick work of rigging it to hold the yokes steady, wedging one into the visor opening and hooking the other into the chin guard. She sighed with satisfaction and swung around in the chair to face Kylo, wearing a self-satisfied smirk. It faltered when she caught sight of the jagged scar running down the side of Kylo’s face, from beneath his dark hair all the way to his lower jaw. She traced it with her eyes from top to bottom, making a poor attempt to disguise the action by pretending to examine the interior of the pod. The action, however, did not escape Kylo.

Rey stood, the top of her head only reaching his shoulder. He had forgotten that such a tiny body contained such an immense power. They had been in close proximity to her during their lightsaber battle, closer even, but standing there face to face, weaponless but for their minds, the sense of her touched every cell in his body.

“It’s been quite a while, Kylo Ren… Ben Solo,” Rey said finally, slipping past him to unfold a jump seat. She plopped down onto it in a relaxed action, _too_ relaxed, carefully avoiding meeting his eyes. Kylo noted her actions carefully.

“There is no one aboard this pod by that name,” he replied evenly. “That is the name of a dead man. There are only the most skilled Knight of the First Order and a scavenger who still does not know her place. I expect you to grant me control of this vessel so I may return to Lord Snoke with you as my prisoner.”

Rey snorted then, again catching Kylo off guard. He was quickly tiring of that feeling. “This ‘vessel’ is hardly granting _me_ control at this point, thanks to _you_ ,” she said flatly. “What should’ve been an hour long journey now looks as though it will take two days at the least, thanks to that blown engine. This thing barely had the capacity for light speed as it was, now it’s no faster than a hoverbike.”

She popped up then suddenly, nearly pushing past Kylo in her rush to retake the pilot seat. He watched as she craned her neck looking out the front window of the pod, and catching sight of something, began to rhythmically flip a switch up and down. A flashing light from a partially cloaked X-Wing responded, and she replied with further switch flipping.

Apparently feeling Kylo’s eyes on her back, Rey again turned to him. “That was my wingman, Poe Dameron, I believe you’re acquainted?” she said with a smirk. “In fact, he escaped from the First Order’s flagship about a year ago under your watchful eye, didn’t he?”

Kylo returned the smirk in kind. “Calling for assistance, are we?” he scoffed, ignoring the dig. “Afraid of spending several days alone with me, constantly defending yourself? I have no need for sleep now, you know, I can sustain myself fully on the power of the Dark-“

“Sending him away, actually,” Rey cut off his bragging. “I can handle you myself. Should make our arrival back at base more painless, anyway. He doesn’t need to tail us any further.”

 _Clever_ , he thought. _Maintain the closed environment where you think you have the advantage. How optimistic_. “Base, is it?” Kylo asked, injecting a feeling of surprise into his voice. He knew that she knew that he knew their destination, after his light mental prodding, but for the sake of the situation, he continued. “Not to your master for punishment and execution?”

“Your uncle has no more desire to kill you than your mother does, despite the pain you’ve put them through,” Rey said, her voice heavy. “Nor do I,” she added. To Kylo’s ears, the remark sounded somewhat less sincere.

“Knights of the First Order have no family, and those that stand in my way will be destroyed, whither they harbor any malice towards me or no,” he coolly countered. “That includes you, scavenger. Again I urge you to relinquish the controls, or-“

“Or what, you’ll kill me?” Rey leapt to her feet, her power creating the feeling that she was much larger and more intimidating than she actually was. Kylo saw right through her, but she continued. “This pod barely has the fuel to get back to the Resistance base! So what do you intend to do, kill me and crash land on some desert planet? Live there in the burnt-out hull of this trashed pod until you waste away under the heat of the sun, never to see your great Lord Snoke ever a- _hhhgk_!”

Rey’s words were cut short by a sudden invisible pressure around her throat. Kylo felt the slightest pang of guilt for taking advantage of her at her most vulnerable, but he kept his expression blank and cold. He reasoned that the feeling came from the desire to face her as an equal opponent, and pushed it to the back of his mind.

Kylo raised his hand slightly, lifting Rey’s light body with the power of the Force. He indifferently watched her feet raise off the ground, kicking and struggling, actually managing to land a few blows to his lower shins, which he did not feel. It had been so quick and easy in Snoke’s simulation, so simple to snap her neck with the force of his hatred and rage. But the once razor-sharp edge of the darkness within him suddenly felt blunted when he connected with her consciousness in any way, even a violent one such as this. Her energy invaded his being in a way that he both hated… and was addicted to.

Kylo realized too late that Rey had driven her energy into the gaps in his own, and he recoiled as he let her fall. She dropped into a squatting position, managing to knock his feet out from under him with a low, swinging kick, despite gasping for breath. Kylo fell hard on his back, the wind knocked out of him by the impact. He went to push himself up, but found an immensely heavy concentration of Force holding him to the floor. He redoubled his efforts, and let out a cry of frustration when he found them thwarted. His mind raced, searching for her weak points, trying to refocus his anger, trying to understand why his grip failed, questioning his own power and resolve-

Rey straddled his forcibly prone body and crouched, the tails of her loose tunic draping over Kylo’s legs, her eyes boring into his. The move shocked him, bringing his viciously churning thoughts to a screeching halt.

“You cannot kill me,” she began quietly. Kylo made a harsh sound of protest, but she spoke over him. “Just as I cannot kill you. You have the capacity to kill others, but not to kill me. Search your heart and mind, and you will find the truth.”

“I do not need to, I know Resistance _lies_ when I hear them!” Kylo spat up at her. Rey’s words had the unintended effect of once again focusing the rage within him. Rage and… something else? Something he had felt from her before, something warm and unfamiliar…

She ignored him. “The moment you connected with my mind a year ago, I felt that you could not kill me. Why do you think I was able to repel you then? What I lacked in training then I made up for with knowledge of your heart- a knowledge that _you_ gave me.”

“ _I gave you nothing_!” he hissed. “Whatever knowledge you have you _took_ from me, just as I took what I wanted from you!”

“I _took_ …?” Rey choked. Her eyes narrowed into a harsh glare. “I didn’t want your negativity, your _darkness_ , in my mind! It was only after a great deal of training that I managed to free myself from you! And may I remind you that you were unsuccessful in extracting Master Luke’s map fragment from me?!”

Hearing Rey utter that name, referring to him as her master, pushed Kylo over the edge. He again cried out in rage, the feeling welling up in his chest and spilling over in a sudden explosion of Force. The pod itself rattled and the lights flickered in response to the blast of energy. The impact threw Rey off balance and she fell back, but not before Kylo pulled his legs out from under her, and ungracefully scooted himself across the floor of the pod until his back was against the wall. Panting, sweat beading on his forehead, he sized her up as she calmly returned to a crouching position. She crossed her arms over her knees, and simply looked at him.

Kylo visualized throwing his hand out, forcing her down with his power, standing over her as she had done him. The image again twisted the coil of anger within him; but her calm gaze worked against this coil, unravelling him at the very core. Despite having the imagination to concoct all sorts of offensive actions against her, he found that his motivation to actually undertake these actions melted away upon focusing on her form.

They sat for time like that in silence, except for their breathing- Kylo tensing and relaxing, Rey watching him evenly. At some point, soon after their breathing synchronized, Kylo Ren drifted to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

                _In Kylo Ren’s dream, they were again in the snowy forest of Starkiller Base. They always were. He had had this same dream too many times to count or recall over the past year, and it never changed. Rey called the lightsaber to her, the lightsaber that by right of blood belonged to him. He watched it strike her palm, her fingers closing around the grip slower than they had on the actual night, allowing Kylo to drink in every nuance of her movement. Rey’s arms dragged through space to lift the saber into combat position, igniting the blade, which crept slowly upward into the cold air. “You MONSTER!” the words tore out of her as they always did, the drone of each syllable seeming to hang in the air, penetrating the innermost recesses of Kylo’s mind. Monsterrrrrrrr…_

_The drone persisted even as Kylo ignited his own lightsaber. He felt as though he was pulling his arm through thick mud as he raised it to point at her, that scavenger who had stolen his property, his composure, his very connection with the Dark Side._

_But it was no longer Rey, it was Han Solo standing before him, impaled on Kylo’s crackling red blade, his eyes full of fear and betrayal and love. Kylo let out a cry so strong it burned his throat, and still the drone of Rey’s voice was there, becoming distorted as though it was being passed through the voice modulator of his own mask. It lacerated and stung his mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and rid himself of it. But still it persisted._

_His eyes snapped open and he was saber to saber with Rey at the mouth of the chasm. Their blades hissed against one another, throwing splashes of red and blue light across her glinting eyes and her skin, shining with sweat. The drone emanated from between her fiercely gritted teeth. Kylo saw his own face too reflected in her eyes, saw his determination being replaced with the desire to simply run away, to escape the onslaught of Light that emanated from her very core. Her energy washed over him like waves on a stormy sea, and he felt himself struggling, drowning, the world growing dim around him as her blade raked up his face-_

_As he hit the snowy ground, the sound abruptly stopped, to be replaced by a quiet, steady rhythm. He watched the landscape shift sickeningly around him and he struggled to get up, to hide from the sudden burst of light and color around him. He whimpered at the pain the effort caused him and let his head fall, expecting the hardness of the forest floor, but finding instead something soft and warm. He blinked, his sickness gone, and shifted his body slightly to find himself resting between a slight but muscular pair of legs, draped in brown cloth._

_Rey’s laugh tinkled above him, a sound he had never heard while conscious. The rhythm, he realized, was her heartbeat- or was it his?- and as he turned to look up at her smiling face, pleas for forgiveness tumbling out of his mouth, she was engulfed by light, and he was blinded._

…………………………………….

                Kylo Ren regained consciousness with a start and a gasp, full of apprehension that someone, that _Snoke_ , had witnessed his dream and his weakness. But this was not his cot at the Supreme Leader’s headquarters, the one on which he had spent a year of uncomfortable nights after struggling through his strict training- this wasn’t even horizontal. He pushed his back to the wall he had fallen asleep against, looking around him suspiciously. He had no idea how long he had been asleep, or why he had fallen asleep in the first place. His mind buzzed, slowly reconstructing recent events… the Destroyer, the escape pod, the debris field, the argument-

                Rey.

                _The scavenger_ , he mentally corrected himself. It had taken weeks of conditioning for Kylo to stop using her name. _She doesn’t deserve the respect you grant her by calling her by her name_ , Snoke had said. _She is nothing_.

                She was sitting cross-legged in the opposite corner of the pod with her back to him, meditating. Vulnerable.

                Kylo got to his feet as quietly as he could, his back sliding up the metallic wall, not taking his eyes off the back of Rey’s head. The dull echo of the drone from his dream still lingered in his ears and his heart, but so did the rhythm of his and Rey’s heartbeats, the gentle sound of her laugh. He felt his stomach churn, but he forced the uneasy feeling down. “ _You cannot kill me_ ,” her earlier words rose from the depths of his mind, “ _Just as I cannot kill you_.”

                _We’ll see about that_ , Kylo thought, never one to back down from a challenge. Clearly, the direct approach was not the most effective way to take her down; he would bide his time, wait for her to expose more of her weak points, and exploit them mercilessly. He ignored the tickle of doubt in the pit of his stomach and allowed a confident smile to spread his lips, the power rising within him finally silencing the remnants of his dream.

                Apparently unaware of his consciousness and machinations, Rey remained completely motionless. Kylo recognized her meditation technique as the same one he had been taught all those years ago, back when he still tried to deny the call of the Dark Side. He remembered struggling to focus on the stillness within his surroundings, trying to use it to balance himself. He remembered being driven mad by the sound of his fellow trainees’ voices, breaking his hard-won concentration.

                “Why do you still wear those desert rags?” He spoke to her back, his voice somewhat louder than he knew was necessary. “Did the Jedi not provide you with suitably dirty, worn robes?”

                The slightest twitch of a muscle in Rey’s neck indicated Kylo’s success. He allowed himself a dark laugh, simply to let her know that he knew _exactly_ what he was doing.

                She raised her arms above her head in an exaggerated stretch, turning her head fractionally to catch Kylo in her peripheral vision. “Good morning, Lord the-power-of-the-Dark-Side-sustains-me,” she said, just barely keeping the annoyance out of her voice. She hopped to her feet and continued to stretch, twisting back and forth at the waist, finally spinning on her heal to face him. She quickly evaluated his form with fast, nearly invisible movements of her eyes, assessing his body language for any potential threat before continuing. Kylo knew the action well. “In answer to your question, these ‘desert rags’ are easier for me to move in than the heavy Jedi robes. I didn’t want anything in my way for this mission, and I’ve never particularly cared about appearances. Hungry?” She smirked before adding, “Or does the Dark Side feed you too?”

                Kylo narrowed his eyes at her in a sour look, not appreciating her digs. After a pause to let her register his expression, he reluctantly inclined his head slightly to indicate that he would indeed appreciate food.

                Rey retrieved a pair of vacuum-packed packets from a drawer and tossed one to him. He regarded it with disgust before ripping it open and smelling the contents, which only increased his revulsion. His reaction elicited a short- but genuine- laugh from Rey, who was in the process of folding down a jump seat.

The sound so affected him that he didn’t hear whatever clever quip she followed up with. The familiar sound, previously only known to him in his dreams, seemed to flutter about in his mind before settling right below his eyes in a warmth that took him a moment to recognize. He was _blushing_.

                Rey either didn’t notice or ignored his facial discoloration as she dug into the contents of her ration packet. Either way, Kylo was grateful, and he did his best to tactfully choke down the green meat and dry square of bread-like substance. Finding his mouth incredibly dry after the meal, he absently ran his tongue along his upper lip. Sensing a projectile headed in his direction, he dropped the empty packet and reached out with the Force to catch a well-aimed bottle of blue liquid that otherwise would’ve hit him square in the face.

                He peered in Rey’s direction around the hovering bottle to find her feigning innocence and indiscreetly licking the remnants of her meal from the packet. He growled at her playful action and sent the bottle crashing to the floor in front of him, causing its contents to burst out of its loose lid.

                “ _Hey_!” Rey cried with genuine offence, diving to right the bottle before the bottle was fully drained. “There’s no need for that! We have limited rations on this pod, you know!” She sat back on her heals as the screwed the lid back onto the bottle securely.

                Kylo glared down at her coldly, internally appreciating his superior position. Of _course_ he knew. And he remembered the feeling of desperation for food and supplies he felt in her memories when he had interrogated her a year ago, the same desperation she let flow out of her now, so raw that it managed to breach her carefully constructed mental barriers. The corner of his mouth drew up in a grimace at her unrestrained emotion.

                “I see no need for your false efforts to be civil with me,” he snapped. “Wouldn’t it be simpler to pass this journey in silence? Or are you so eager to strike up a friendship with the killer of your criminal father-figure-“ Kylo felt a throb of pain from Rey at that, “- and traitor friend?”

                “Oh _by_ the _Maker_ ,” Rey nearly growled, getting to her feet. “You are the most contrary, prideful creature I’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with! Without your little conversation starter about my clothes, we wouldn’t even be speaking right now! Also, for your information, _Finn_ is very much alive.”

                Kylo raised an eyebrow. “FN-2187, you mean?” He blew a small puff of air between his lips. “ _Finn_? How sentimental. Pity he still sullies the galaxy with his presence. How I long to rectify this.” He pretended to ponder the possibility of getting the opportunity, folding out a jump seat and sitting down. “Perhaps we will encounter each other when we reach the Resistance base… unless he has defected from you as well?”

                Rey rolled her eyes at this and shook her head slightly, which was a much more subdued reaction than the one Kylo had expected from his prodding and threatening. “I don’t think you really care about being forgiven at all,” she grumbled, more to herself than Kylo. She plopped down in front of the control panel, examining the state of the instruments to hide whatever emotion she was feeling- it was strangely difficult to get a read on it, despite the fact that her profile was clearly visible.

                “Forgiven? _Ha_!” Kylo tossed his head in an exaggerated laugh. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the jump seat. “Why would I want _your_ forgiveness? My actions are just, and I feel no remorse for them.” He lied. He _knew_ he was lying, but the knowledge that he would soon overcome this weakness with further training would disguise his doubt from Rey.

                “You’re lying,” Rey responded flatly, as if she had been privy to his whole thought process. She ignored his quiet choke of surprise, keeping her eyes fixed on the instrument panel. She continued more softly, “Do you think I don’t have it too? That vision? That… dream?”

                “ _What_ dream?” Kylo sputtered, finding that his hands had wandered to the sides of the jump seat, which he gripped hard. Fear was building within him, and he was quickly growing concerned that his mental walls couldn’t contain it for any stretch of time. “I don’t know what… I do not _dream_ any longer, I-“

                He trailed off as he took in the color of Rey’s cheeks and the fluctuation in her energy. He skimmed fuzzy images from her mind of their duel in the forest morphing into a dark head in her lap, a barely contained desire to run her fingers through his hair-

                Feeling Kylo’s eyes boring into her, she fully turned away from him, leaving him to make inferences on her three messy buns rather than whatever her face was betraying. A dark, gloved hand entered his peripheral vision- it took him a moment to realize it was his own- and slowly, carefully, made its way towards Rey’s shoulder. As it grew closer, Kylo became aware of a buzzing sensation in his fingertips, and a warmth that was quickly spreading from his palm up his wrist. He thought he could see the fine hair on the back of Rey’s neck standing up from his proximity. His training, his connection to the Dark Side, all of what he thought he was, seemed to fade into nothing as he focused on the possibility of touching her. So close to her light…

                But inches from her skin, Kylo curled his fingers into a fist, unable to bring himself to bridge that final gap. He gritted his teeth and cast his eyes down, withdrawing his hand, begrudgingly surrendering the hard-won closeness back to empty space. His disgust with himself drilled holes in the warmth he had gained from her, and his mind began to spiral down, down, returning to the embrace of the Darkness.

                When Rey suddenly spun in the pilot’s chair, her calloused hand catching his midway between them, Kylo was not sure whether to weep from joy or from the pain that came with the sudden influx of sounds, images, and memories caused by the contact.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter really grew some legs. It's about as long as three chapters, but I couldn't decide where to break it up, so I present for your consideration the final 7,000 words of what was originally intended to be a one-chapter, self-contained fic.

Kylo couldn’t make sense of the first barrage of memories, so quickly and intensely did they assault his mind. He clung to Rey’s hand desperately as she clung to his, understanding that it was their contact that was causing the mental upheaval, but unable to break away even if he wanted to. It was as if their hands had been joined by powerful magnets; all they could do was ride out whatever was going on.

Images of a young Rey danced through his psyche. Although he watched her actions remotely, he could also feel the aching and determination grow within her every passing year, and the desperation that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. He again saw her sleepless nights, the ocean she imagined, the island, surging through his mind as if all of her years of life had taken place in a single minute. He dreamed with her, watching freighter ships break out of the atmosphere of Jakku, leaning against the foot of the downed AT-AT. He wept with her on those rare occasions that she surrendered herself to hopelessness, when her belly was empty and her parents had still not returned.

Kylo felt Rey’s hand shuddering in his own, though it was distant, almost as though her hand was the dream and this vision was the reality. He knew that this Rey was weeping as well.

The appearance of an orange BB unit signalled an abrupt shift in the tone of their mental exchange, and an intense burst of joy nearly made him physically ill as Rey encountered Finn and stole the garbage ship from the scrapyard, a joy that seemed untempered by the fact that they were running for their lives from First Order TIE fighters.

And then there was Han Solo.

And then Kylo Ren actually _was_ physically ill, his swing in focus managing to finally break his contact from Rey, who let out a sob of relief. He could feel her anguish through his nausea, even able to read entire thoughts flowing through her addled mind entirely without meaning to. They were not happy ones.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as sweat poured down his face, mingling with the salty tears that stained his cheeks. Still echoes of her memories drifted to him on top of her thoughts, now disjointed and out of order, only ghostly recollections of recent events. So many new faces at the Resistance base, all friendly. Orders for a mission that seemed to have come too soon- she wasn’t strong enough yet, she thought. The hooded figure on the island, the weariness in his eyes as he turned to face her. Her infiltration of the Star Destroyer. Her entire body and soul aching from long days of training. The figure in black that pursued her through the forest of Takodana, the heat of his red lightsaber.

Another sob from beside him brought Kylo’s mind fully back to the present and he looked up to find Rey curled into a ball on the pilot seat, her knees drawn up to her chin. Her whole body jerked when Kylo’s eyes met hers, and he didn’t need the presence of her tormented thoughts to tell him that she had seen memories as well, but not her own. Her wide, terrified eyes all but reflected his own memories back at him, memories that he dared not think about except to fuel the anger that connected him to the Dark Side.

He opened his mouth to speak, but his words spilled from Rey’s mouth instead as she seemed to pluck Kylo’s unformed sentences from his mind. “Those weren’t meant for you… for me,” she said, her voice quavering. She moved to continue, but her words found themselves on Kylo’s lips.

“It’s so much worse than what I saw on Starkiller Base, so much worse… your pain… _my_ pain…” Kylo took control over his own voice at the end, contemplating the words. _You cannot kill me…_

 _… just as I cannot kill you_ , Rey finished his thought in her own mind. _Do you understand now? Even I didn’t fully when I said it, but…_

“You felt it was true,” Kylo finished aloud. Rey gave the slightest of nods. They sat without any further efforts to speak or explain, their shared uncertainty about their new connection flowing back and forth between their minds. Kylo found that focusing on the connection itself, rather than what he had seen and felt, gave him an amount of respite. He sensed Rey come to the same conclusion. There, in the escape pod, everything else fell away, and it seemed as if nothing else in the universe had ever existed. No Light and Dark- just this connection. It felt eerily empty, but utterly peaceful.

“Back and forth,” Rey mused, her head lolling to one side. The fear had faded from both her eyes and heart now, and she pictured bright strands of light streaming between her mind and Kylo’s. He watched her visual interpretation of their exchange of thoughts with curiosity. He was aware of their matched breathing, their synchronised heartbeats- it was as though they were one being, sharing the same mind.

 _Beautiful_ , he thought, and Rey nodded.

But the strands were growing fainter now, and a ringing in Kylo’s ears was slowly replacing the presence of her thoughts in his mind. He had expected to be relieved at the solitude, but he wasn’t; quite the opposite, really. Without her presence, his doubt and fear and anger were able to regain their hold on him, and with them came the Dark. He never considered that he would be resistant to the return of its influence, but he found himself throwing up mental defences, trying to keep it out for just a little while longer… he wanted to be able to savor his connection to Rey without feeling guilty, without looking for ways to turn her memories and feelings against her. He squeezed his eyes shut with the effort.

He could sense her attention on him without looking, and apparently without connecting to her thoughts. So it was not a complete surprise when he felt her hand on his shoulder, but he winced nonetheless, not least of all because he feared opening up another painful memory exchange.

“I heard his voice that night, you know,” Rey said quietly. “Snoke’s. He wanted me to kill you after we pushed back from that chasm. I didn’t know whose voice it was until I heard it in your memories… I was frightened it was my own.”

“He is… very cunning, Supreme Leader Snoke,” Kylo said haltingly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, the beginnings of a terrible headache rising behind his still closed eyes. “But he would not want to kill me. I am his greatest weapon.” The headache was upon him full force after that.

Rey made a sound of concerned disagreement, withdrawing her hand, and Kylo reluctantly opened one eye to look at her. Her brows were knitted over her carefully averted eyes, and she gingerly rubbed her thumb against the palm that had so recently left his shoulder. It was a pitiful look, and so he pitied her, despite parts of him loudly objecting to it. And in his pity, he found that he didn’t disbelieve her. This only made his headache worse and he grunted, kicking at a marked panel on the wall next to him. A small sanitation droid emerged from it, and set to work around the area where Kylo had been sick.

He watched it blankly until it finished its job, trying to formulate a sentence that communicated his usefulness to Snoke while acknowledging that the voice Rey heard that night was not her own. How could it have been? Despite his ill-timed offer of Force training, he’d had doubts then about being able to fully turn her to the Dark Side even then. Now, after seeing into her mind so intimately, he was nothing less than certain of her firm footing in the Light. Snoke had no hope with her.

“Where is that- that blue drink?” Kylo finally choked out, suddenly overly aware of the awkward sound of his voice. He cursed under his breath as Rey passed him the now mostly empty bottle, still avoiding his eyes. As he took a drink and swished the liquid around in his mouth, he could feel her thoughts crackling with uncertainty- or were they his own? He swallowed and replaced the lid on the bottle. There was only one way to resolve the issue.

“Let me into your mind again,” Kylo said quietly, smoothly. He meant it as a request, but as someone who tended to make more demands than requests, it came out somewhat more intimidating than he’d meant it to. He tried to soften his voice. “Show me the memory. When we pulled apart, I… it did not seem to come into my mind.”

Rey gave him a wry smile before her expression darkened again. "I’m glad. It’s not a good memory, and it haunts me even in that dream.” Kylo’s back straightened at the mention of the dream, but he did not interrupt. “It infects it, makes my voice sound terrifying... Like someone else's voice. It's like he left a stain on my mind."

The way she said it stirred something in Kylo. He felt... _defensive_ of Rey's Light. Snoke had no right to sully something so pure, particularly when it was clear that any darkness that Rey encountered seemed to eventually be illuminated... _Even my own_ , he thought begrudgingly. As he thought, he ran his finger up and down the portion of his scar that crossed his lower cheek, an action that had become second nature to him as his wound slowly healed. He quickly realised that what he saw as a habit was producing a progressively more pained expression on Rey’s face and moved his hand to frame his jaw instead, not wishing to cause her any more emotional turmoil.

A thousand alarm bells went off in Kylo’s mind then, trying to force him to quash the feeling, the _compassion_ that had taken root within him. The Light makes the Darkness weak, and that was the last thing he wanted to be. But the connection they had shared, that was not weakness- nor was it strength. It just _was_.

He locked eyes with Rey. "Snoke is Darkness, and the Darkness naturally fears the Light, even if that fear is disguised as the desire to destroy it. Snoke will never have power over you if you maintain but a fraction of the strength I have seen."

Rey nodded, a tiny smile tickling her lips at Kylo's faith in her. His training in the Dark Side and his indoctrination into the First Order had arranged his mind to never consider speaking this openly to an enemy, but that smile seemed to quiet his doubts. Besides, after being forced to mentally relive her entire life, he felt quite close to her, despite only meeting her twice before this involuntary period of shared confinement. _Enemy_ was no longer an accurate description of Rey.

As his thoughts raced, Rey stood and stepped towards the center of the small ship. “Come on then, let’s get this over with,” she said with as much strength as she could muster.

Kylo raised an eyebrow as he stood to join her. “Are you sure you don’t want to be sitting down?”

Rey shook her hands by her sides, apparently limbering up her wrists. “Nope, this is fine. I have to be ready to force you out if I need to.”

“Fair enough,” he replied gruffly. He raised his hand and positioned it just before Rey’s face, closing his eyes as he did so. He found that his headache immediately faded upon coming into direct contact with her thoughts, and he pushed deeper.

"Huh," Rey puffed, her eyes closed as well. "I can feel you in my mind, but you're not making that awful buzzing sound like you used to."

"That's because you're letting me in," Kylo said, his voice tense with concentration. Maneuvering through Rey's mind was slow going, which surprised him; he had already seen most of her memories, so picking out this one should've been a simple task. He frowned and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the distracting thoughts that kept presenting themselves. _Focus_.

When he finally came to the memory in question, he found it tangled with Rey’s recollection of their shared dream. He carefully tried to navigate the memory while brushing aside the dream elements- the odd slow movements, the strange crackling voice, the sudden shift to the death of Han Solo. Kylo gritted his teeth and pushed past that part quickly, finally arriving saber to saber with Rey at the edge of the chasm on the crumbling Starkiller Base.

It was odd to experience the fight from her point of view, to feel her fear and uncertainty as his own body weight bore down on her through his lightsaber. He was slightly embarrassed to hear his voice volunteering himself as her teacher, particularly now that he knew how she mentally reacted to the offer- disbelief and disgust. But his words had triggered a memory in Rey that night, one of a small orange woman advising her to feel the Force surrounding her. She meditated on those words for a moment- _so that was why she closed her eyes_ , Kylo thought- and began to reach out, finding the comforting but intense embrace of the Light, filling her entire body and giving her the strength she needed to retaliate.

Kylo watched the process in awe, the Light touching him as well, forcing the Dark to the corners of his mind. He swung the saber with Rey, pushing back the figure in black and striking him to the ground. Her strikes were aimed to ensure that he would not be able to threaten her again that night, but they were not intended to kill. The energy flowing through her would not have permitted that.

But as she stood above Kylo’s injured form, a shadow passed through Rey’s mind. _Strike him down_ , it said. _Finish him, so he can no longer hurt you or those you love_. At her hesitation, it increased in urgency and volume. _KILL HIM!_

But the ground was shaking below her feet, and another chasm yawned between them. Kylo disentangled himself from the memory as a sense of relief washed over her. She was glad for the sudden end to their fight, glad to no longer have to resist the voice.

 _Yes, that was indeed Snoke’s voice you heard_ , he thought to her, slowly pulling back from her mind. _Unfortunately_. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Snoke’s apparent disregard for the life of his best knight, but all signs were beginning to point to a justified rage. Why had he spent all that time training Kylo if he had no qualms about urging the nearest Force user to kill him? Han’s warning on the bridge was accurate after all, it seemed. The Dark Side had no room for sentimentality where power is concerned.

Kylo was so wrapped up in his own assessment of the event that he didn’t hear Rey’s mental warnings until it was too late. His consciousness stumbled through the walls she was hastily erecting and into the final stage of their dream, his head abruptly finding itself on her lap.

Both of their minds scrambled to push the other away, but their efforts were hampered by the emotions that unexpectedly began to swirl around them. Kylo’s conscious presence in Rey’s memory of the dream seemed to complete some sort of a circuit, similar to the one that occurred when they inadvertently shared memories before but much less painful. In fact, it was quite… pleasurable.

Their twin perceptions of the dream created a wonderful feedback loop, and they were each able to cautiously explore the other’s feelings about the situation. Kylo’s desire for Rey’s forgiveness surged the longer they dwelled in the memory and he begged her for it. Her capacity to forgive flooded his mind, but it was not offered- not yet. But even the possibility of obtaining it, that anyone could grant him that after everything he’d done, lit a long-dormant spark of hope within him. He sat up and embraced her, and the shockwaves resulting from the act jolted him out of the memory.

Kylo pulled out of Rey’s mind abruptly, their shared embarrassment careening between their still partially linked thoughts. He found his fingertips resting gently on her cheek- in his concentration, he must've unknowingly closed the gap that had been there when they began. His first instinct told him to pull it away, and he was about to when he accidentally met her eyes. His whole body froze, and he felt a not unpleasant heat spreading creeping across his chest and shoulders. The heat grew in intensity as they maintained eye contact and, finding himself wanting more of it, he cupped her face with his palm, his gloved thumb moving gently across her skin. He could feel the warmth radiating from her, even through the thick leather, as well as her willingness to let him continue touching her.

All sorts of things were flashing across Rey's face, none of which Kylo could fully decipher. So much energy swirled around them, he was finding it difficult to even understand what his own senses were doing. He felt a tremendous pull towards her, different from the one that had locked their hands together before but just as magnetic.

As his thumb passed over her lower lip, he could no longer resist the pull. His lips crashed into hers forcefully, the intimate, skin-to-skin contact sending a wave of what felt like electricity through every cell in his body. He could feel her surprise at the rough, clumsy kiss both in her body language and in her energy, but this was overridden by a very physical sense of completeness he had never experienced before.

Just as quickly as he had lost control of himself, all of his training and guilt came rushing back, dimming the light of their shared dream and filling him with regret for being so weak. He all but recoiled from Rey, his expression registering just as much shock as hers. “I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ he stuttered, his cheeks coloring with embarrassment and indignation.

But before Kylo could continue his mental descent into self-loathing, Rey grabbed him by his cowl and pulled his face back down to hers in an only slightly less clumsy kiss. But this time, both parties persevered, and the kiss softened.

Initially unsure of what to do with his arms, Kylo found them snaking almost automatically around Rey’s thin waist when she made a nearly inaudible sound of pleasure into his lips. While the physical sound very easily could’ve gone unnoticed, he could sense the brief spike in her energy that conveyed her pleasure loudly and he pulled her to him, wanting to feel that spike again.

But it was Kylo who moaned into Rey’s mouth as she parted his lips gently with her tongue. She ran her fingers up the back of his neck and entangled them in his hair; he felt as though he could drown in this feeling of her, basking in the sensation of her touching him. He slipped his gloves off behind her back and pressed his palms to the coarse fabric of her tunic, grabbing handfuls of it as she nibbled his lower lip softly.

He growled at her as he pushed back with his own tongue, almost driven wild by his longing. He again sensed Rey’s pleasure before he heard it, the sound having a strong effect on the growing bulge in his trousers.

She broke away from him suddenly, panting and looking with desperation into Kylo’s heavily lidded eyes. She dragged her hands down his shoulders to rest on his chest somewhat warily. “Ben…“ she said, her voice but a ragged whisper. “I- you’re my enemy… I was sent to retrieve you for the Resistance, not…” She couldn’t finish her sentence and cast her eyes down.

The sound of his old name spoken in Rey’s pleasure darkened voice did not grate on him the way it had when she uttered it before. He tried not to think about it too carefully. “Am I?” he replied, his own voice husky with desire. He sighed and tugged her close into an embrace not unlike the mental one they so recently enjoyed. He found that she was just the right height to rest his chin on her head, and he breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled of the desert and the sea, of motor oil and grass.

“I am not sure if I can ever fully belong to the Light,” Kylo continued, “But as I touch you now, I am no longer sure if I can fully belong to the Darkness. I am truly weak, despite my attempts to be otherwise.” He felt the sting of tears threatening to flood his eyes. “It is as if a second person has emerged within me after these past few hours with you, one that is neither Ben Solo in the Light or Kylo Ren in the Dark. He is but a nameless man of grey, who wants to bask in your Light but fill himself with the power that the Dark grants him. Perhaps he has always been there… Not only am I weak, I find I am also selfish.”

Rey pushed away slightly to look him in the eyes. “Ben,” she said, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “We have Light and Darkness flowing through us all. The Jedi and the Sith, they are at the extreme ends of the spectrum that is the Force. Master Luke-“ Kylo winced at the name but she went on, “Master Luke understands better now, that both extremes involve what could possibly be a repression of one’s true self, and that this repression has the potential to cause much more harm than good. He said you taught him that.”

“ _Did_ he?” Kylo scoffed, his hands absently picking at the fabric of the back of Rey’s tunic. “But what of the rebuilding of the Jedi Order? The Jedi have never been particularly fond of shades of grey in their ranks, or outside of them. Has so much changed in the galaxy that this is no longer true?” It was slightly strange to be having this conversation while in each other’s arms instead of at each other’s throats, but it was somehow also easier.

“Force sensitive people can be trained in simple Force skills without sacrificing themselves to the ways of the Jedi or the Sith, you know that,” Rey said, frowning at his sarcasm. “But expecting imperfect people to be perfect is an error that the Jedi perpetuated for too long by trying to force the Light onto those who did not have the capacity to fully accept it. Master Luke now seeks to understand the shades of grey as he does the Light and the Dark Sides. Why do you think I was sent to retrieve you?”

“Ah, that was why you were uncertain about our destination,” Kylo grinned, pleased with himself for solving the puzzle he had been pondering since they first boarded the escape pod. “We may be on our way to a Resistance base, but the only one who will be present will be Skywalker, correct?” Part of him was excited to get the opportunity to face Luke again, to fight him as a Knight of Ren commanding the power of the Dark Side. But this part was small, and the residual light from his contact with Rey hanging in Kylo’s mind muffled it somewhat.

She gave a small nod, her eyes drifting from his.

“ _I don’t care_ ,” Kylo said then, and Rey’s gaze snapped back to his own in surprize. He was fairly surprised at the brashness of his words as well, but he went on, his confidence building. “I don’t care if Luke Skywalker is there or if Supreme Leader Snoke is there, I only want to care about… _this_.” He ran his hand up her back for emphasis. “That dream- I had convinced myself that it meant nothing, that is was but an echo of my own weakness. But our minds are connected… whether we like it or not, apparently.”

Rey smirked at his slightly sour tone. “Can’t say it’s been particularly nice for me either, having you knocking around in my head whenever I tried to sleep. But it seemed like you needed to be there somehow, that you needed _me_.” She shook her head gently, her energy becoming more relaxed after weaving in and out with Kylo’s to discover his sincerity. “And I wanted to help you. I never allowed myself to really consider…”

Her voice quieted as Kylo’s eyes burned into her own, and he removed one of his hands from the crook of her back. He tilted her chin up slightly with the bend of his index finger, and he felt his cheeks again grow hot. “ _Can_ I be helped?” he said. The voice that emerged from his throat was so gravelly that he nearly didn’t recognise it as his own. “Can you help me, Rey?”

Almost painfully slowly, he lowered his lips to hers in a kiss so gentle that it could’ve been mistaken for a brush of feathers. Feeling Rey’s lower lip quiver against his own after a moment, he broke the kiss delicately.

Rey’s brow was furrowed with resolve, and she reached a hand up to cup his scarred cheek, brushing her thumb over the jagged red line. “I don’t know, but I want to try,” she murmured, her voice quiet but full of determination.

Her serious look made Kylo want to laugh and cry at the same time, but he did neither. Instead he kissed her, allowing his hands to roam from the small of her back to her hair. He noted how soft her loose buns were, and he gently tugged the lowest of the three free from where Rey had secured it. The section of hair fell into his hand like a little waterfall, and Kylo smiled into the kiss, running his fingers gently through it.

The action nearly caused Rey to inadvertently interrupt the deepening kiss, so hard did she nuzzle her own face against Kylo’s. The energy they were generating together now was intoxicating, and he deftly released her other two buns, her long hair rippling down her back. She nibbled his lip again gently and tugged on his cowl insistently, eliciting a deep noise from Kylo that was somewhere between a growl and a moan. He somewhat reluctantly detached one hand from Rey to fumble with the hidden clasp inside his cowl, finally releasing it with a bit more effort that he would’ve normally cared to admit.

His cape now pooled at his feet, Rey’s hands explored Kylo’s body through his tight-fitting clothes in a way that almost mirrored his own earlier motions. He rumbled into the kiss as her fingers danced up his chest, and he shifted the trajectory of his kisses down her jaw and to her neck, where he plucked at her soft skin with his teeth.

Rey reclined her head and moaned in pleasure, again lacing her fingers through Kylo’s dark hair. Her breathing had been reduced to quick gasps and sighs, punctuated by unintelligible words as he ran his tongue up to her ear, which he nipped at. He felt her energy spike at the sensation of his breath against her, and allowed himself to be guided back to her lips. Her tongue pushed into his mouth forcefully, desperately, and he moaned at the feel of her.

Kylo’s hair nearly stood on end as he felt Rey’s hands slithering up his torso under his shirt, pushing it up and exposing his stomach. She continued to tug at it and Kylo was forced to temporarily withdraw from her attention to unravel the strips of cloth that formed his sleeves.

“How do you manage to get dressed in the morning with all this?” Rey laughed breathily, running hands up and down his bare back and stomach. Wherever she touched his skin it felt like she left a trail of static electricity behind.

“Slowly,” Kylo replied with mock seriousness, her touches slowing the unwrapping process. Low on patience, he grunted and tore the remaining fabric from his wrists, whipping his shirt over his head. He pulled Rey into another crushing kiss, wrapping his arms with ease around her small body. The feel of her warmth against his bare chest almost drove him mad with desire.

Kylo kept one arm wrapped firmly around her as he rubbed his other hand down her back until he found her belt buckle. He promptly released it, causing a chain reaction he had perhaps not quite been prepared for; as the belt fell to the ground, he realised that it was what held her outer layer of desert tunic securely to her body. At the absence of the belt, the tunic began to unravel around her, slipping off her of its own accord. Kylo briefly pulled away from her as he felt the cloth slump to the ground, leaving her in a relatively shear white top. He swallowed, gulped really, at the clear definition of her nipples through the shirt, and Rey looked away, evidently suddenly shy.

“D-do you know… if there’s anything we could spread on the ground to…?” She stuttered. “Any… bedding?”

Kylo knew there were some emergency sleeping bags in one of the myriad compartments of the First Order escape pod, but he really didn’t have the patience to search for the compartment in question. Instead he got down on one knee and spread his crumpled cloak across the floor in front of Rey, who kicked off her shoes and stepped onto it gingerly. As she sat down, he could see that her cheeks were flushed a bright shade of pink.

“I-I’ve just- I’ve never…” she stammered.

Kylo sat as well and shook his head with some force, a wave of his dark hair falling across his face. “Me too,” he assured her.

He crept slowly over to her and she laid back, following his lead and not letting her eyes leave his. Positioned over Rey, his hands splayed beside her shoulders as he supported himself, he allowed himself a moment to appreciate the image of her below him as he lowered himself to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around him as he did, pulling him deeper into the kiss. He slid one hand up her stomach to cup her breast through her clothes, and she positively vibrated as he did so. He ghosted over her erect nipple before pulling his hand away, slipping it instead below her shirt to feel her warm skin.

Rey placed a hand on Kylo’s chest, gently urging him away for a moment in order to fully remove her shirt. She laid back down, her pert breasts now fully exposed to him, and he felt his cheeks burning with desire. He returned to their kiss, pressing his muscular chest against her breasts, the feeling of that much skin to skin contact threatening to overwhelm his already lust-drunk mind.

Kylo kissed a trail down Rey’s neck to her collar bone, relishing in her pleasured sounds as he did so. His kisses trailed even lower, to the mound of one of her breasts, which he also cupped with his hand. His tongue darted over her nipple before he took it into his mouth, gently closing his teeth around it. The sensation caused her to cry out and briefly grip Kylo’s hair, which he realised he quite enjoyed. This encouraged his attention on her nipple, teasing it with his mouth has he twiddled the other one between his thumb and index finger. He felt her hips press against his insistently, and he was only too happy to respond by rubbing his confined erection against her upper leg.

Rey tugged on his hair to bring his mouth back up to her own, and Kylo was only too happy to comply. He kept one hand on her breast as she kissed him roughly, sucking and biting his lower lip as she again pressed her hips to him. She trailed one hand down his chest to his belt, which she began to fiddle with, eventually figuring out the mechanism and releasing it. When her exploring fingers found a further row of buttons, she made an exasperated sound into their kiss, which made Kylo pull away and chuckle.

“By the Maker, is it a First Order requirement that your clothes be so _complicated_?” she sighed, relinquishing unbuttoning duties to Kylo.

He laughed hard then, the feeling of such a wide smile on his face an almost unfamiliar one. “I don’t know what you were expecting to keep them up! I am strong in the Force to be sure, but supporting a garment with it all day would be a bit tiring.”

“But strings are so much easier!” Rey laughed, gesturing to the closure on her own pants. The waistband was laced shut with a bow, which Kylo eyed as he removed his trousers.

“Are they?” he said breathily, his fingers flying across the closure. The string was removed almost instantaneously, and Rey squealed as he yanked her pants down. He chuckled darkly as she kicked them off. “Hm, it appears you’re right after all.”

Kylo slipped his hand down the waistband of her underwear, kissing her as he did so. Rey’s back arched in surprise and pleasure as his fingers found her most private areas, and she clung to him as he brushed the pad of his finger over her nub. The jolt of energy that came from her as he gently eased a finger inside her nearly pushed him over the edge himself, and he felt his hips involuntarily buck his still-contained erection against her.

He slid his finger in and out of her opening, feeling it become even slicker as he worked. When he added a second finger, Rey dug her fingernails into his back and cried out in pleasure, the sound and her energy reverberating through Kylo. He picked up speed, positioning his free arm behind her head and pulling her to him.

“I… I’m going to…” Rey gasped as her walls tightened around his fingers, and still Kylo continued to move in and out of her as her nails raked down his back. He shuddered at the sensation of her orgasm, her cries still echoing in his ears as he withdrew his hand and fully removed her underwear, followed quickly by his own.

“Rey…” Kylo breathed, brushing his lips over her neck as he positioned himself between her legs. In response, Rey bent her knees on either side of his hips; he felt them still quivering from the aftershocks of her climax.

He looked into her eyes as he pressed his tip to her entrance, and she whimpered. “Ben… I want…”

Kylo could resist no longer and pushed his length inside her, the feeling drawing a prolonged moan from his throat. He tried to restrain himself, understanding that Rey’s body was so much smaller than his own, but her passionate cries and gripping of his hair made it extremely difficult.

Her warmth was even greater inside, and he thrust in and out easily, drowning in the intense sensation of her surrounding his member. Rey laid back, returning his every thrust in kind, their bodies synchronising and moving as one. She gripped his forearms and closed her eyes, and Kylo felt her energy mix with his own, swirling in a great whirlpool of light and dark. Feeling himself becoming lost in the energy and the sight of her below him, he groaned. “Rey, I’m-“

“Wait,” she gasped, releasing his arms and pressing her hands to his chest. He continued to lazily move in and out of her until the continued pressure of her hands made him realise what she wanted. He kissed her once more before rolling off of her and onto his back, the withdrawal making them both whimper.

The smile that spread across Rey’s face as she climbed atop Kylo would’ve been infuriating had it been in any other context. She looked positively smug as she rubbed her wet opening over his erection, teasing him. Looking at her naked body above his own was just as stimulating as the reverse, possibly even more so, and he groaned as she continued to move against him. He felt her hand as it wrapped around his cock, positioning it before she sunk onto it.

“ _Rey_!” Kylo nearly roared her name as she began to gyrate her hips against his. His eyes closed in pleasure and he tipped his head back, dragging his hands up her legs to grip her waist. It was too much, too much…

“Ben…” Rey murmured, her voice surprisingly steady given the situation. She wove her fingers into his hair. “Look at me.”

Kylo’s eyes snapped open at her request, and again he was met with the sight of her naked body. He watched her breasts bounce as she bobbed herself up and down on him, her hand gripping his hair tighter as she neared another climax. “Ben!” Rey cried, her movements becoming sporadic as she tightened around him.

Stars exploded in his peripheral vision as he thrust himself deep into her one more time, the sensation of her orgasm pushing him over the edge. He was vaguely aware of her hand still in his hair, gripping hard as he came. He groaned her name over and over as she slowed her movements and he slowed his.

They eased into stillness together, Rey collapsing onto his chest. They were both panting, and Kylo wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling into her hair. He’d never needed something so desperately as this closeness, and he hadn’t even realised it until he was in the midst of it. Every inch of his skin tingled, so thick was the energy in the air of the pod. Rey’s satisfaction and pleasure were evident, not only in the gentle spirals she drew in his hair, but in the thoughts that drifted from her mind to Kylo’s. He knew that his mind was open as well, but he had no desire to shield his thoughts from her; he expected they ran along similar lines to hers.

At some point, he slipped out of her, and she slid off of him and into the crook of his arm, sighing contentedly. Kylo stared at the ceiling of the pod, mindlessly tracing the seams of the metal and replaying recent events in his head, still not entirely certain they had truly happened. He frowned slightly, wondering if this was all some sort of trick meant to test his strength against the Light. If that were true, he had failed miserably. He recalled the sound of his old name on her lips, _Ben_ , and was somewhat disconcerted to find that he enjoyed the way it had sounded.

Rey must’ve sensed his concern, because he suddenly felt a wave of comforting energy wash over him. One of her hands edges up his shoulder, her fingers delicately coming to rest on the circular scar there, the one that she had given him a year ago. She sat up and kissed it gently, meeting his eyes as she sat up again.

“I deserved it,” Kylo mumbled, vaguely gesturing to his facial scar as well. “I’m glad that you escaped physically unscathed- I’ve seen what my old lightsaber did to flesh, and the wounds it made were not so clean.”

The remark seemed to stir something in Rey, and her eyes glinted. “Old?” she asked, cocking her head ever so slightly.

Kylo’s lips formed a thin line. “Well, I didn’t exactly have a chance to call it back to me with the Force after we disarmed each other on the Star Destoyer. As I recall, someone hauled me onto an escape pod.”

“Ha!” Rey exclaimed, her eyes crinkling with her smile. She quickly disentangled herself from Kylo and pulled on her underwear and shirt as he watched, somewhat confused. He put his own underwear back on as she strode to the pilot’s chair, kneeling down and opening a panel.

Rey rummaged in the compartment behind the panel for a moment, eventually producing the hilt of her own lightsaber. Kylo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his jaw dropped open when she pulled out his larger black hilt. “How… ?!” he started.

Rey cut him off with a laugh. “What, you think I would leave my weapon behind when I would be transporting a dangerous enemy operative?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Kylo said a bit more harshly than he intended.

Fortunately for him, he felt Rey’s energy brush his consciousness and realise that he was genuinely befuddled. She laughed again, examining the large hilt, which looked crudely made compared to her own. “I’ve been curious about your saber for a while, actually, and it’s just as I suspected. You know you can compensate for your cracked crystal by putting in a better modulation circuit? You could reduce the stress on the refractors, eliminating the need for these vents. It would also generate a more stable blade.” She tossed it to Kylo, who fumbled and just managed to catch it.

“You trust me with this?” he asked in absolute shock, the surprise nearly causing his voice to break.

The reaction brought a crooked smile to Rey’s face, and a chuckle to her lips. “Not entirely, but I know you’re not stupid. Swinging lightsabers around in this small of an area would be suicide- unless you’re interested in teaching the vacuum of space the benefits of the Dark Side?”

Kylo grumbled quietly, knowing she was right, and stared down at the roughly constructed hilt. It was still another full day before they would arrive at the base and he would have to face Luke, but, unexpectedly, he would not be doing it alone. And the idea of spending more time with Rey aboard the escape pod no longer seemed like a punishment, but like an opportunity he still wasn’t sure he deserved. He sighed, unable to keep a smile from creeping to his lips. He turned the saber over in his hands and asked, “So, could you explain more about that modulation circuit?”

He thought he would never forget Rey’s broad grin as she launched into a long-winded lecture on the benefits of condensed wiring and circuitry in both lightsabers and spacecraft. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were, at least for the moment, content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kudos and comments, I really appreciate them! I hope you enjoyed my little story.


End file.
